I am sharing this hoping this may help some to know that every relationship is pepper, salt and sugar. First some background here and then some real stories to follow in coming articles.
Women often have a deeper experience in trying to manage life and work. The reason is every relationship matters. Being a woman by nature makes a inclusive. As a feminine force she can only think of offering her compassion to all without differentiating.
My lesson was that for a relationship to work I had to be open, accepting, willing and listening. Be it my relationship with an organization, with people there or with family and friends. Each one needed me to be committed, focused, priotize and pay attention. I had to find ways to add life to my relationships. Make it a point to appreciate and thank my spouse, parents, grandparents and child for what they did for me. So in that sense it was a tango with each one. Each successful relationships required each other space and time to come back after such moments. Mostly, one compromised the ones outside work. Work being a place that one tends to get so entangled with because one believes that life's happiness and survival both depend on it.
However, relationships do become complex. A tug of war between what a woman is and what the competitive world is causing her to become, causes an inner conflict. Basically, now she has a relationship with the organization she works, with her family, with her friends, with her children, and rest of the society. The entire ecosystem- she has to engage with it at a new level on a different platform.
The differing expectations and defined standards of a successful relationship with each of them leads to entanglement and conflict.
My relationships how did they evolve: At the beginning of it all, the basic norms of the ecosystem one lives make it easy to establish a rapport or peaceful engagement. You obey the teacher it works, you obey your parents it works. Then come some more open ended and less defined relationships at your university.
And then I had more to manage, work, family, kid, and help to run the house. In all of this suddenly, I wanted to excel in each relationship. I did loose my balance before I gained it by priortizing my Energy and gradually learning that Energy was limitless I just had to ensure it was in the right place in that moment.
In all of this I goofed up many by causing them anger for not being able to meet them or spend time with them..but that was all the energy I had at the time on my plate. Today, I know of effective ways that enable me to relate and keep myself energized. I know that no two people can be same. I know that marriages or any other relationship that is largely ruled by expectations from both sides is bound to be noisy.
I found ways to rejuvenate my self, my motivation and joy. I made sure I found ways to keep each relationship alive. In all this there were those moments when I really felt like if someone would say hey you are doing a good job. Well they did and no one complained. Except for ofcourse a few where I did not make the mark.
Then again I realized somewhere if it is a repeating pattern there has to be an issue with my thoughts. They were weaving a story and that I learned to look at things the way they were without labeling and judging.
Very very freeing although very tough to do be so in some situations. And it was these that I resisted persisted and continue to be so.
Every realtionship had to be nurtutred without condition for it to flower. In particular, marriage is one, where it is your journey to wash your karma and live your life's journey to reach the ultimate. If one commits to this institution know that it gives an opportunity to let go off every limitation and become a totally accepting and open individual.
Insight: In every happy relationship, I realize it is so because I am more willing and open and listening than in others.
Women often have a deeper experience in trying to manage life and work. The reason is every relationship matters. Being a woman by nature makes a inclusive. As a feminine force she can only think of offering her compassion to all without differentiating.
My lesson was that for a relationship to work I had to be open, accepting, willing and listening. Be it my relationship with an organization, with people there or with family and friends. Each one needed me to be committed, focused, priotize and pay attention. I had to find ways to add life to my relationships. Make it a point to appreciate and thank my spouse, parents, grandparents and child for what they did for me. So in that sense it was a tango with each one. Each successful relationships required each other space and time to come back after such moments. Mostly, one compromised the ones outside work. Work being a place that one tends to get so entangled with because one believes that life's happiness and survival both depend on it.
However, relationships do become complex. A tug of war between what a woman is and what the competitive world is causing her to become, causes an inner conflict. Basically, now she has a relationship with the organization she works, with her family, with her friends, with her children, and rest of the society. The entire ecosystem- she has to engage with it at a new level on a different platform.
The differing expectations and defined standards of a successful relationship with each of them leads to entanglement and conflict.
My relationships how did they evolve: At the beginning of it all, the basic norms of the ecosystem one lives make it easy to establish a rapport or peaceful engagement. You obey the teacher it works, you obey your parents it works. Then come some more open ended and less defined relationships at your university.
And then I had more to manage, work, family, kid, and help to run the house. In all of this suddenly, I wanted to excel in each relationship. I did loose my balance before I gained it by priortizing my Energy and gradually learning that Energy was limitless I just had to ensure it was in the right place in that moment.
In all of this I goofed up many by causing them anger for not being able to meet them or spend time with them..but that was all the energy I had at the time on my plate. Today, I know of effective ways that enable me to relate and keep myself energized. I know that no two people can be same. I know that marriages or any other relationship that is largely ruled by expectations from both sides is bound to be noisy.
I found ways to rejuvenate my self, my motivation and joy. I made sure I found ways to keep each relationship alive. In all this there were those moments when I really felt like if someone would say hey you are doing a good job. Well they did and no one complained. Except for ofcourse a few where I did not make the mark.
Then again I realized somewhere if it is a repeating pattern there has to be an issue with my thoughts. They were weaving a story and that I learned to look at things the way they were without labeling and judging.
Very very freeing although very tough to do be so in some situations. And it was these that I resisted persisted and continue to be so.
Every realtionship had to be nurtutred without condition for it to flower. In particular, marriage is one, where it is your journey to wash your karma and live your life's journey to reach the ultimate. If one commits to this institution know that it gives an opportunity to let go off every limitation and become a totally accepting and open individual.
Insight: In every happy relationship, I realize it is so because I am more willing and open and listening than in others.
